Here is Dr. Nicky Angevine, a married psychologist discussing his infidelity.
A lot of marriages are actually strengthened by infidelity. We can’t be so quick to judge people who risk everything to step outside the marriage, away from the comfort zone. I understand where people jump to conclusions, point fingers.
I’m from Bed Stuy. In my neighborhood, you knew who was stepping out and you knew it was a bad thing. But let’s face it. It’s not that simple. I’m an educated man, a psychologist. My job is empathy and those guys I worked with doing construction, they’re the salt of the earth, but they’re not evolved. I can’t blame them for calling me a cheater. They don’t understand that some infidelity is actually an act of loyalty. How could they? They’re still pouring concrete, sucking Bud Lights and they didn’t have an interest to pursue higher education. It takes all kinds, right? Right.
The important thing is that me, I stayed with my wife. I didn’t leave her just because I found a connection with someone else. I didn’t walk out on my children. I dealt with this like a good man, a dedicated father. Did I ever spend a night away from my home? Did I ever not kiss my babies goodnight?
If I didn’t care about my family, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to cover it up. You can tell how much I love my wife by how hard I struggled with my feelings for this other woman. And the inside of us, what goes on in our minds and our hearts, this is infinitely more important than the bullshit with our bodies. I was trying to consummate my feelings for this woman because I didn’t want my feelings to get in the way of my marriage.
Family is infinite. Sex ends. Sometimes, doing the right thing for your family is hard. Sometimes it means getting into bed with a woman because that’s the only way to stop thinking about this woman. Believe me, I had no intention of leaving my wife or hurting my family. I’m a family man. I’m one of the good ones. Did you know I grew up working construction?
Caroline Kepnes grew up on saltwater, Sweet Valley High and Poltergeist. She loves to write fiction and she is grateful to be a fulltime author. She danced on Direct Effect on MTV and she has an extra bone in her right foot. She’s from Cape Cod and lives now in Los Angeles. GO RED SOX.
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Upcoming book: LOVE is out in September 2015.